Beetles, The Tick, and more...

Chicago.

Well, the pests have triumphed in the garden. Mexican bean beetles have pretty much trashed all of the bean plants¹. And not just ours; plants in all of the nearby plots have been reduced to leafless twigs. It's depressing, in no small part because I really enjoy having a good harvest of dried beans to tide me through the winter. There may be enough on the plants already for a few meals, but nothing like the haul I could have expected in a good year. I guess it's because they're so labor-intensive, but I haven't found many at the market come autumn. Quality, yes. Quantity, no.

I'll admit to a bit of an unusual love of beans, especially dried ones. No one else I know adores them to the degree I do. Not Sharon, my family, her family, our friends... but I'm okay with that. They're delicious, nigh invulnerable², and all sorts of nutritious. The cooking time can be a downside, but a Crock-Pot or slow simmer in the oven - think Boston baked beans - takes care of that.

Shell beans are also good, but they aren't available for long, or from too many vendors. Like fresh peas, they're such a short-season treat that I tend to use them right away, and in the same sorts of simple dishes. Blanch, add some bacon, toss with pasta, add a bit of cheese. That sort of thing, where it's a mix of a few simple flavors and near-instant gratification.

Also in that category, enjoyed this past week: ripe blackberries; cheese-and-herb-stuffed fried squash blossoms³; sungold tomatoes right off the vine. Upcoming: raspberries, raspberries, raspberries.⁴

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¹This isn't the first time Eagle Heights has had a serious infestation. 25 years ago, when I was just a wee tyke, gardeners had all but given up on beans. Note to self for future gardening endeavors: look up sources for Pediobius foveolatus.

²Like the Tick. The big, blue superhero parody by Ben Edlund, who had both a short-lived cartoon series and an even-shorter-lived live-action series. But now - or, to be more specific, tomorrow - The Tick vs. Season One is finally available on DVD. "Spoon!"^a, indeed. Or, even better - though it's part of another season - is the line from "Little Wooden Boy and the Belly of Love": "You can't fight crime with a macaroni duck!"^b

I guess you had to be there. This was the episode where, in addition to the usual absurdities, we watched the Tick carve Little Wooden Boy from a two-by-four, a giant whale run cross-country, and Tick and Arthur get eaten by said whale. It also includes the line^c "Isn't sanity a one-trick pony anyway? All you get is one trick: rational thinking! But when you're good and crazy... hoo hoo hoo! The sky's the limit!"

Which leads me to the always-enjoyable world of Fanatical Apathy, Adam Felber's satirical blog. As mentioned on the latest Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - listen to the Opening Panel Round - there's a new definition in the Urban Dictionary. A special sort of off-your-gourd, madcap optimism termed Katherine Harris crazy. Adam took this further in his latest riff on her wildly irrational antics.

When then leads to the reader comments. One of which points out a University of Minnesota study that finds atheists are the least-trusted minority in America. While I'm busy quoting cartoons, this calls for a line from Dr. Zoidberg: "Hooray! People are paying attention to me!"^d These days, to be ranked lower than homosexuals means society's definitely decided you're hate-worthy. Half of America may not like homosexuality, but atheism's linked to "an array of moral indiscretions ranging from criminal behavior to rampant materialism and cultural elitism." 'Cause if I had to pick three phrases to best describe myself, that'd be them.

Man, it's good they didn't add in some additional gradations for Marx- and Nietzsche-sympathizers^e, 'cause I'd be on the bottom of the bottom of the pile.^f Okay, well, a smidge above my gay twin, but that's really picking nits.

^aThe Tick's battle cry. The whole show's an exercise in joyful absurdity, so it's best to just accept the craziness and laugh.

^bYou see, it was crafts night, Arthur had a date with Carmelita, and... oh, never mind. I swear it's funny in context.

^cThis is one of those "lessons learned" lines that always came at the end of cheesy action cartoonsⁱ, except that the Tick's make little to no sense. Like public service announcements as performed by Dadaists.

ⁱIn the G.I. Joe cartoons, it was whatever preceded "Now you know, and knowing is half the battle!" The other half apparently involved color-coded lasers, explosions, and no one getting hurt. G.I. Joe: it's like our very own Bizarro world!

^dLike when he said it, it's only funny because it's definitely not good.

^eI pick Marx and Nietzsche because I've been reading Camus lately, and a bit caught my eye in The Rebel: he comments, with an anger and bitterness rarely seen in his writing, on how the Nazis and the Stalinists destroyed - at least in the popular mind - the brilliant philosophical work of these particular men, by bastardizing their ideas, taking the bits and pieces that suited them and applying just those. Like executive power with no checks and balances. Or religion (any one - and I should include the "lack of religion" groups here: the atheists, the agnostics, and all the subtle variationsⁱ therein - or just call it "belief system") once it strays from rational thinking and moderation.

ⁱ(Man, we're deep in footnote-land here.) This, in part, is why there aren't a whole lot of well-known, organized atheist groups. There is one in the military, which, of all the major facets of American society, could very well be the least tolerant of diversity. Another reason, I think, is that people tend to get together over something they have in common. Not a lack of something. Atheists have other interests that keep them occupied, and tend to band together in reaction. Not action.

^fBut, on the upside, I'm a "minority", something I'd never realized. I may not be a beautiful and unique snowflake, but I'm a lot closer than I'd realized. For what that's worth.

³Okay, so they take a little work, but they're fantastic, and when The Joy of Cooking says, "Serve right away", it's no joke. They're at perfection at that moment when they've just cooled enough that you don't burn the roof of your mouth.

⁴Red, orange and yellow, the raspberry rainbow available from Blue Skies. No blacks there, though. I'll have to ask why. They were the wild raspberry of my childhood.